the key to your next girls trip
welcome to the dilettante
In June of 2022 I was tasked to plan a girls trip to London. Nothing new for me, “friend group manager and vibe curator” is an important role I’ve frequently held for many girls trips and weekends throughout the years. I take it very seriously.
To be successful in this role, one must be in tune with the scene and vibe of the destination they are traveling to. New York, Miami, Dubrovnik… These are just a few cities I’ve planned itineraries for, and was very well versed in what they offered, what we had to see, and what we would like to do while there. I knew what the vibe of our trips should be and what each of us liked, so picking from what’s available and planning the itineraries was like putting together a fun puzzle. Luckily as a UX designer I have a talent for understanding my users (my girlfriends) and researching and understanding the business and its interface (the city) in order to optimize the journey (our itinerary).
However, when it came to London… I couldn’t even find the puzzle pieces let alone attempt to put the puzzle together. All of us had been there before, so I knew we didn't need to cover a lot of sightseeing. Our trip was going to be purely focused on good restaurants, local types of activities, and going out. Since I wasn’t familiar with what London had to offer, I searched online for specific information: What day is it cool to go out in Mayfair vs Shoreditch? Which of the two even offers places we’d like? Which restaurants that are not Sketch (please, God) would be something we should go to? What dinner spots are great for a group of 5-6 girls that love to get dressed up, take pics, hit up an “if you know you know” type of restaurant? But also, what hidden gem should we discover for breakfast and coffee the next day?
Searching by vibe was impossible. TikTok was a little bit of help, but most of the recommendations were the same 10 restaurants and pubs. Usually in situations like this one, I check out where a local influencer has been or posts about frequently, but finding a local influencer that matched our vibe was another project I didn't have time for.
Somehow, I ended up putting together a fun trip for us. I’m proud to say we even hit up a couple of spots that weren’t touristy and well known, so I considered that a win. A mix of under the radar and must-see is a good balance for a girls trip. My friends hyped up my itinerary and planning skills so much that I thought to myself: “Maybe I should start a travel planning side business.”
I mean, it made so much sense. I like planning trips. I always gladly hop on opportunities to give travel recommendations. I love it because I get a chance to share the insights and knowledge from my research and experiences, and I also get to tailor it specifically to the friend that asked. To me, it’s like finding the perfect gift but instead of giving you a wrapped present I curate an experience I know you’ll like. Designing a travel experience and having people find delight in it really makes me happy. It’s my love language.
So, I cooked up a plan. I would offer travel planning for girls trips, and as a way to market myself I would have a newsletter and a website. I would send out a monthly newsletter on a destination chosen for that month, and the website would feature some articles on lifestyle and travel. My service would be putting together girls trip itineraries. The branding I had in mind was cool, the name for the biz was cool, so all I had to do was start.
I tried to. I would soft launch on Instagram as a travel inspo profile. Then I would stop. Then I discovered Substack and thought that was my sign to try again. Wrote a few thought pieces on the general culture of travel and nightlife. Then I stopped. It didn’t seem right. I knew there was something in this idea but I couldn’t really put my finger on it. What did I really want to do? What problem was I trying to solve? I thought I wanted to plan itineraries, but that didn’t feel right. Sure I’m good at creating an optimized itinerary but my power is really in curation. I have a good eye for what’s offered, a good radar for recognizing what’s about to be cool, and a good feel for what people like and would enjoy. In order to curate though, you have to do extensive research. To research, you need resources, and the resources… well… they’re a problem.
There are 2 main problems with today’s state of travel content and general travel recommendations:
Travel recommendations are stuck in an echo chamber.
I can go to London, try a few restaurants, and film a video giving you all the details I think you might care about to convince you they are good restaurants. I have good taste and a pretty good idea of what’s actually worth it out there, so you’ll trust me. However, most of the time I’m just retelling my experience that’s based on a very small bubble of experiences I had in that city.
The places I visited are places I discovered through research that led me to other people’s recommendations. Those people also found those places through other people’s recommendations. At some point, the recommendation game starts looking more like playing telephone.
You know why? Because most of the time the actual source of truth is never a local publication or a local person. It’s, to you and me, someone that posts travel content in English intended for a mostly American audience, and if we’re talking US cities, then a well known travel influencer or large travel media company that we all know are getting paid to say good things 9.9/10 times. That brings us to the second problem.
Recommendations are one sided.
While a group of girls like my London friend group and I would be down to stop by Sketch for a quick photo op and afternoon tea, another group that is more interested in historic sightseeing, hanging out at the gorgeous museums, and hitting up local pubs would avoid it by all means. So why are we all being served the same recommendations?
Why do I have to spend hours scouring the internet for reviews, looking at random people’s TikToks and Instagram stories? Why do I have 30 tabs open at once to figure out if that one bar in Hvar plays house music every night or what day of the week we should have dinner at a specific Milan party restaurant?
Today’s travel content is purely a retelling of experiences that ultimately only people similar to the storyteller would agree with. I’ve been to London once or twice and ate at 5 restaurants, but it’s on you to figure out if, compared to everything else that’s offered in London, my recommendation truly is:
a) a place worth visiting
b) something that you would actually like.
So, you first have to figure out if I’m a reliable source of information by determining who I am and what my track record is, and then you have to figure out if I’m someone who would actually go to places that you would be into in order to finally trust my recommendation.
Listen, I’m not anti-travel content. Obviously, I’m leading you on to the idea that I will be creating travel content. I’m also not anti sharing travel recommendations to cities you don’t live in. Like I said, friends, family, your followers, will trust your recommendations. What bothers me is the lack of platforms that can offer you recommendations from reliable sources which would also be something you like.
One-size fits all travel is what’s poisoning people’s experiences in travel. I think the first antidote to that is elevating recommendations from local creators that grew up in the city or country they’re writing about. The second antidote is making those recommendations taste-driven.
Think back on the last time you planned travel with your friends. I guarantee you the word “vibe” had crossed your mind, if not, was spoken multiple times in the planning discussion. Go ahead, search through your texts. Yes, we care about seeing new places, but figuring out the vibe of the trip and more importantly of the places where you’ll be eating, drinking, dancing, and doing all the fun travel activities, is the driver of everything. Lists shouldn’t be grouped generically like “must see places in XYZ.” Instead, something more like “best places to eat if you’re looking for a goth vibe” would actually be more helpful for the goth girlies.
Ok Jelena, but who the hell knows that?
Well, who’s better at knowing the vibes of all the places in a certain city or country, than the person that grew up there? Better yet, who’s better at giving recommendations for the goth girlies than the local goth girlie?
That’s why today I’m launching the dilettante, a travel and lifestyle publication for the endlessly curious, offering curated recommendations shaped by local voices and tailored to your taste-driven identity, aka vibe.
It’s a platform where travel recommendations are curated by people who know the heart and soul of the country and/or city they’re writing about. They keep its heart beating not just those couple of days you are visiting, but have been for years and will continue to after you leave.
It’s a platform where the recommendations are curated to you and your way of travel instead of generic templatized lists.
It rejects one-size-fits-all travel in favor of culturally immersive, instinct-led experiences designed for those who follow their fascinations.
If you’re still reading this it means you’re someone like that. Someone who resists being defined by a single pursuit, profession, or path. You follow what interests you and want to build a life driven by intuition, taste, and curiosity. Your travel should reflect that.
Welcome to the first day of a new era of travel. I’m excited to curate experience and find the right people to curate experiences for you. If I can make even one girls trip not just easier to plan, but unforgettable, I know we’re on the right path.
I’m revolutionizing the way you plan your travel and this is just the beginning.
Love,
Jelena
Chief Vibe Officer